Peridot vs the Tongue Monster, Round Two
by Interspark
Summary: Peridot returns to the barn to find her quarry from the desert arrived ahead of her. Without the safety of a temple, though, the careless gem can't keep her corruption bubbled for long.


The sound of the warp pad, near the barn, didn't extract any reaction from Lapis Lazuli, who remained seated in the back of the elevated truck, imbedded in the front of the barn, intently reading Pretty Hairstylist. She didn't look up until Peridot's shrill voice cut through the silence.

"Oh Lapis!" She called, with an unmistakable air of smugness, her short breath and increasing volume giving away the fact that she was running towards her companion. Lapis smirked reluctantly, put down her book and looked over the side of the truck. The small, green gem had come to a rest directly beneath her, and proudly placed her hands on her hips. "You got room up there for the mightiest of all the Crystal Gems?"

The question confused Lapis. "Garnet...?" She asked, sincerely.

Evidently that wasn't the correct answer. Peridot pouted angrily and held her fists firmly by her sides. "No, me! Just wait until you hear the thrilling fable of my exploits... in the... Beta Kindergarten... and the ferocious gem... I vanquished!" She huffed, climbing up the wall of the barn, towards the truck as she did.

"You mean this one?"

Peridot had just reached the truck and climbed to her feet, when she yelped in alarm and narrowly avoided falling back to the ground. Floating a few inches above Lapis' outstretched hand, was the very same square, blue gem, in the lime green bubble, Peridot had sent "home", as Steven had put it, just minutes ago.

"So this is what he meant..." Peridot muttered to herself. "I assumed he was referring to his own home." She shuddered gently as she remembered the Crystal Gems' macabre bubble dungeon.

"Where did she come from?" Lapis asked, handing the bubble over to its creator.

Peridot quickly remembered her excitement to share with Lapis, the details of her adventure. "Ah, yes! So you recall me telling you how I triumphantly slew... erm... you-know-who... in the Beta Kindergarten just days ago? Well yesterday I was assisting the Crystal Clods with their foolhardy attempts to contain her army of..."

Before Peridot could continue her somewhat exaggerated story, she made to step across the truck for dramatic emphasis, resulting only in placing her foot squarely on a DVD case for Camp Pining Hearts Season 2, slipping backwards on it, and sending herself hurtling off the truck.

"Peridot!" Lapis found herself calling out in alarm.

Peridot twisted defensively in the air, inadvertently landing directly on top of her own bubble, which, after bouncing Peridot head-over-heels into the dirt, popped, leaving the gem inside to drop to the ground.

"Are... you okay...?" Lapis casually asked, quickly remembering her cool and she landed gently next to the shorter gem.

"Naturally I'm perfectly..." Peridot began, but trailed off as she saw the corrupted gem, lying bubble-less in the dirt. "Oh gem shards..." She cursed quietly.

"Who is that again...?" Lapis gingerly asked, remembering how Peridot had only described her as 'ferocious'.

Peridot frantically scrambled towards it on her hands and knees, and seized it, desperately.

"It's a corrupted gem beast..." Peridot whined in fear.

"Well... don't you think you should..." Lapis began.

"I DON'T KNOW HOW I BUBBLED IT!" Peridot shrieked in alarm. She clutched the gem tightly and shook it back and forth. "Bubble, you stupid, dim-witted, foul-smelling _CLOD_!"

Her anger quickly cycled back around to fear, and she threw the gem to Lapis, who just about managed to catch it.

" _You_ bubble it!" Peridot begged.

"I don't know how to make bubbles..." Lapis pointed out, considerably more calm that Peridot, who was grabbing handfuls of her own hair.

"You... Control... Water!" Peridot frantically reminded her. "Put it in a water bubble!"

"You're thinking of soap bubbles..."

Before the two could argue over the variations of bubbling any longer, the gem in Lapis' hand began to glow a bright blue, and lifted into the air. Peridot whined quietly, under her breath, and joined Lapis in backing away slowly. With a flash of light, the corrupted gem reformed, and landed, with a thud, on her two, clawed feet.

Peridot pressed her face to the ground and defensively clasped her hands behind her head. "Have mercy! I don't want to have to fight you again!"

Several seconds of near silence passed.

"Uuuh, Peri?" Lapis tried to get her to look up. "I don't think she wants to fight you either."

Peridot gently lifted her face, only to have it immediately licked by all three of the creatures flailing tongues. She immediately rolled onto her back and began frantically swatting away the drool-coated appendages.

"Ew! gross!"

"I thought you said this thing was vicious... I think she likes you." Lapis pointed out, with a smirk.

"Well..." Peridot found herself caught in her own white lie. "We engaged one another... in fair combat... Clearly... she respects her... superior opponent! WILL YOU STOP THAT!?"

At Peridot's shrill demand, the corrupted gem's tongues drooped downwards, and she stepped backwards.

"There now..." Peridot said, satisfied, but also somewhat surprised that the corruption had obeyed her command. "You remain here while Lapis and I find something sharp or blunt to destroy you again with."

It was unclear to the gems if the corruption had understood Peridot or not. She didn't seem afraid, but she did, appropriately, turn around and run away from the two of them, directly into the barn.

"OUR MEEP MORPS!" Peridot shrieked, as the sound of crashing metal and wood announced the creature's arrival.

Lapis lazily glided behind her frantic companion, as the latter raced desperately towards their home. When Lapis arrived, Peridot had already calmed herself considerably. She was standing in front of a pile of destroyed remnants, that had very recently been a drum set, a saxophone and a violin, with her arms folded thoughtfully.

"I actually like what she's done..." Peridot admitted. "I feel like it represents the decline of mainstream music over the course of human society..."

The monster herself had taken refuge in a far corner of the barn, defensively squatting on a hay bale, with the three eyes on the left side of her face, cautiously watching the barn's other occupants.

"Why do Steven and his friends chase these things down?" Lapis wondered aloud. "She might not be herself, but she doesn't look like she's hurting anyone..."

Peridot was forcefully reminded of all the onslaughts she had received in the desert, and how, with just slightly worse luck, her gem could have easily been scratched, or even cracked. She held her tongue though, remembering how, on all occasions, it had been her, who first tried to destroy the monster's physical form.

"I got the impression that this gem is more reasonable than the rest of her defective kind... But Steven suggested that even the more brutish corruptions were simply _misunderstood_..." Peridot rolled her eyes, indicating she didn't share her friend's sentiment.

Lapis approached the corruption slowly. The monster climbed to its feet and quickly turned to face her, but didn't move from her spot. Her tongues slithered through the air defensively.

"What kind of gem do you think she was..." Lapis asked, not sure if she recognized the square, blue gem in the monster's forehead, nor if the flaw, in the shape of the letter M, was a result of her corruption or not.

"Hmm..." Peridot scratched her chin thoughtfully. "Well I mostly specialised in Rubies and Jas..." She cleared her throat awkwardly. "… and other foot soldiers, when I was a kindergartner, so I can't be sure... But I believe she's an Era One Tanzanite."

The monster looked up at the mention of the word, which didn't go unnoticed by Peridot.

"Tanzanite...?" Peridot repeated, uncertainly.

Although still giving no clear indication that she understood the green gem, the corruption stepped forwards and, once again, happily licked her face.

Lapis giggled under her breath. "Well, looks like we've got someone else to share the barn with."

Peridot seemed conflicted between her own opinion and a reluctance to disagree with Lapis. "Don't you think it would be more prudent to re-bubble her? Supposedly that's how these incursions are usually handled..."

Peridot picked up a pitchfork and shovel, which had been leaning on the wall of the barn. The corruption quickly climbed to its feet as Peridot retrieved the weapons and looked at her nervously. Before her would-be attacker could react, Tanzanite leapt into the air, landing with a foot squarely on Peridot's face, sending her slamming into the floor of the barn, and, with a cloud of straw dust, vanished out the door.

"UUUGH!" Peridot groaned angrily and she shot to her feet. "I WAS TEMPORARILY CIVIL TO YOU, YOU MINDLESS BEAST!" She screamed at the barn's doorway.

"Should we get Steven and the others?" Lapis suggested.

"There'll be no need for that!" Peridot assured her, as she closed her eyes and pointed her palms at the ground, calming herself. "For behold, the latest fruit of my genius!"

Peridot led Lapis to one side of the barn, where, with a flourish, she pulled aside a sheet of tarpaulin, revealing a long, rectangular device, with handlebars at one end, four large thruster engines at the other, and a leather seat in the middle.

"Fashioned from salvaged technology from both Homeworld and Earth, and inspired by the device owned by that skeleton guy in the movie we watched, I give you... THE PERI-RACER!"

Peridot's face contorted in delight and anticipation of Lapis' reaction. Lapis was seemingly underwhelmed.

"Peri... you know I can fly, right?"

Peridot sighed. "Lapis, just indulge me in this, please?"

Moments later, Peridot's contraption rocketed out of the barn's doorway with a careless blaze of blue flames, which thankfully left the barn undamaged. Peridot grinned maniacally, with her hands gripping the handlebars, and a motorcycle helmet on her head, leaving her hair bunched up and sticking out the bottom. At Peridot's invitation, Lapis had sat behind her, with her arms securely wrapped around the smaller gem's waist for balance.

Surprisingly, Tanzanite hadn't strayed further than the adjacent hill while Peridot had shown off her creation, and didn't start running until they started to pursue her. The Peri-Racer hovered a few feet off the ground, and shot forwards at breakneck speeds, the countryside a barely distinguishable green blur around them, and a flaming blue trail in their wake.

Tanzanite sprinted away from her pursuers, at speeds she hadn't displayed in the kindergarten, but the Peri-Racer slowly caught up with her. Utilizing her vastly superior agility and reflexes, Tanzanite made a 90 degree turn almost on the spot and darted towards the beach. Seeing her quarry vanish behind her, Peridot scowled and swung the handlebars in the corrupted gem's direction. With far less precision, the Peri-Racer shot in a wide arc, that sent it flying over the road leading out of town, across the beach and over the calm ocean.

Trying her best to stifle her broad grin, Lapis noticed Tanzanite, standing on the beach, cautiously tapping at the waves with her claws. "It doesn't look like she's trying to get away..." She noted. "I think she's just playing with you."

"Well let's see how she'll like a game of... really fast... catching... okay, I don't have a smart play on words, but I'm still gonna catch her!" Peridot defensively declared.

A wall of water rose behind the Peri-Racer as it shot towards the beach and, almost at the same time, Tanzanite darted along the sand, in the direction of Beach City. Peridot brought her vehicle alongside the corruption, flying over the shallow water. The three of them sent a tidal wave of water in one direction, and sand in the other, as they shot along the beach, terrifying countless beach-goers as they did.

Due to their surprisingly similar speeds, Peridot and Lapis could just about make out beads of sweat flying from the flailing tips of Tanzanite's fur, but at the same time, the gauges between Peridot's handlebars were all pointing directly to the right, and even Lapis, who knew nothing about engineering, could tell that the thrusters weren't supposed to be making the noises they were.

"Quidditch!" Peridot declared, suddenly.

"What?" A surprised Lapis shouted back, over the engines.

"That's the human sport that involves running fast and catching! It's what I should have said earlier..."

"Peridot, you think maybe you should slow down!?"

"And let that dim-witted clod win!?" Peridot had clearly abandoned all pretense of chasing Tanzanite out of a sense of responsibility and concern for local humans.

It occurred to Lapis, looking back, later on, that, being surrounded by water as she was, she could have easily washed her hands of the ridiculous affair, and had to reluctantly conclude that her concern had solely been for her unbelievably stubborn companion.

As they passed Beach City, a thruster freed itself from the Peri-Racer, and, after spiraling a few feet away, exploded violently, and from the sound of the remaining three, it sounded like they would be following suit. Lapis didn't have time to respond, but luckily for her, there was someone else who did. Moving like a blur, even from Peridot and Lapis' perspective, Tanzanite shot around the Peri-Racer, and leapt over it, towards the beach, lifting its two passengers in two of her tongues as she did. The vehicle exploded with a ball of violent, blue flames, from which two gems flew haphazardly onto the beach, sprawling across the sand, followed by a third, minus her physical form.

Lapis and Peridot groaned, while their heads stopped spinning and their ears stopped ringing. Moments after getting her bearings, Peridot saw Tanzanite's gem, lying in the sand, just before it was picked up by a maroon hand, with a one-fingered glove.

"I had a feeling I'd find the three of you here." With her free hand, Garnet adjusted her reflective visor.

"Garnet!" Peridot shouted, with poorly masked panic. "I see you've arrived just in time to... erm... witness us vanquish yet another rogue gem monster!"

Peridot proudly placed her hands on her hips and thrust her chest out. Garnet frowned, and Lapis shot Peridot a condescending look.

"You know she just saw Tanny, before she poofed?" She reminded her.

"Plus, I know what her gem looks like..." Garnet added, with a shrug.

"Okay fine!" Peridot snapped, angrily. "There was an accident which was _absolutely nobody's_ fault! But as you can see, we handled it without incident..." Peridot shot a nervous look over her shoulder, at the blue flames, still dancing on the rocket fuel that had spilled into the ocean.

"Hmm..." Garnet hummed thoughtfully. "I thought something like this might happen. Tanzanite's bubble would be more secure in the Burning Room in the temple..."

Peridot noted the abnormality in Garnet's speech, she normally spoke in absolute statements and orders. It would be more like Garnet to say "Tanzanite _will be_ more secure in the Burning Room", followed by her immediate bubbling and transit, but she had notably done neither. It quickly dawned on Peridot that Garnet was giving her a choice.

Lapis put a reassuring hand on Peridot's shoulder, before Peridot confronted the much taller, more authoritative fusion. "Thank you Garnet, but as Tann... the corruption's conqueror, I feel that her safekeeping is best left with me." She held out her hand expectantly.

Garnet shrugged again. "It's your barn..." With that, she threw Tanzanite's gem to Peridot and, without another word, turned around and made her way back to the temple.

Despite a spirited effort, Peridot failed to catch Tanzanite's gem, and picked it up off the sand. "Well, I'm glad we straightened all that out." She said, proudly.

Before Lapis could respond, Tanzanite's gem began to glow again, lifted into the air, and reformed a second time. Looking no different for having created a new body, the corrupted gem dropped onto the sand, and turned to face her new friends. Before Peridot could object, Tanzanite leapt at her, and again, communicated her affection for the small, green gem by use of her tongues.

"Yes... that's enough!" Peridot barked. "I... tolerate you too, Tanny!" Peridot grabbed a handful of Tanzanite's hair and climbed unapologetically onto her back. "Now onwards! To the barn!"

After taking a second to register where Peridot was, Tanzanite sent her flying into the ocean with a stern flick of her head. While Peridot coughed up sea water, Tanzanite darted in the direction of the barn, as instructed.

"YOU ILL-MANNERED _CLOD_!" Peridot roared after her. "YOU'D BETTER NOT TOUCH THE REST OF MY MORPS!"

Lapis couldn't help but laugh as Peridot wrung water out of her hair. She crouched down in the waves and prompted her companion to climb onto her back, before sprouting wings of water, and flying after their new friend.


End file.
